Soft Skill & Interpersonal Communication

Introduction & Definition

• Personal attributes that enable someone to interact effectively and harmoniously with other people
• Soft as describe qualities for certain forms of employment that do not depend on acquired knowledge: they include common sense, the ability to deal with people and a positive attitude
• Soft skill is a term often used by careers advisors and employers  to describe the kind of essential personal skills and social capabilities, people need to be able to do  most jobs - “Soft skills tend to come from life experience”
• Soft skills are not just matter of being friendly or amiable. Moreover, it would be very difficult to provide a kind of ‘standard’ that describe whether behaviour is friendly or not.
• Soft skills are combination of interpersonal people’s skill, communication skill, social skill, character traits, attitudes, career attributes and emotional intelligence.

Types of Soft Skills

1. Informative, instructive, explanatory Soft Skills – any person while communicating would be aware about these types. Make sure that the attention of all participants is fixed on the subject that has to be passed on. Make sure that everybody is able to hear what is told. Any information that speaker or person would passed, it should be clear and fruitful for others. The use of presentation material, flip charts or a white board will support verbal information. Do not only focus on the story that has to be told, but also pay attention to the questions that come up. These questions will provide insight into how well the audience understands what is being told. Sometimes questions provide information. Sometimes it is necessary to explain matters once again in smaller groups. Do not hesitate to do this. The focal point is to get the information, instruction or explanation across. The most common way to pass on information, instructions or explanations to an audience is by way of a presentation.
2. Listening and Monitoring Soft Skills - Listening is not only a matter of using the ears; it is also a matter of using the eyes. When people are talking, they are not only using their mouth to express words, but they also use body language to subconsciously emphasize what they are saying. So, ‘listening’ with the eyes is a way to ‘listen’ between the lines. See what people really mean while they speak. Listening means concentrating on what people are telling, expressing an interest in what they are saying, and ensuring that what is implied is.
3. Communicative, Socializing Soft Skills - Listening and talking should be in balance with each other. The main purpose is to communicate, which means listening and speaking in a bi-directional way (interactively), and to have a pleasant conversation, in order to get the right atmosphere when working in groups. Socializing will help to understand the others in the group better, and an increased understanding of each other will improve the teamwork. Communication is not only words flowing from the mouth. Listening skills and the capability of empathizing with each other are also part of the communication process. Listening skills and the capability of empathizing with each other are also part of the communication process. Sometimes it defined as an intentional and unintentional exchange of symbolic information.
4. Convincing, Negotiating, Decisive Soft Skills – This soft skills are necessary, person has to know when to be convincing or decisive and when enough time has been spent on negotiations. Negotiation seems conflicting aspect but it is not possible to convince people by treating them in an aggressive or intimidating way. The person has to be decisive at the same time and he/she have a capability to convince others in positive way. With the help of communicative soft skill a group of people or somebody has to be convinced. Words like ‘obviously’, ‘fair’, ‘reasonable’, ‘will not convince the audience, they will just irritate them.

How to develop Soft Skills

        Soft skills will take time to improve. By nurturing these skills you can increase your work performance, build stronger relationships.

1.  Aim to be understood – your goal, whether speaking or writing should be to communicate clearly by staying on one topic, focus on the point of your communication. Be specific during communicating. Use specific terms instead of general pronouns.

2.  Make eye contact – acknowledge that you are paying attention to someone by meeting his or her gaze eye to eye.  It is very vital part of communication. Eye contact will make your conversation partner feel like you are more engaged.

3.  Monitor your body language – try to avoid unconscious motions that could be taken the wrong way, like playing with your hair or bouncing your legs up and down etc. show interest leaning forward slightly.

Resist the urge to tap your fingers or foot, as this can indicate impatience. You can also connect with conversation partner by mimicking their posture.

4.   Practice speaking – this includes both public speaking and casual conversation. If you are uncomfortable while speaking in front of others, practice will make speaking more easily and improve your ability.

Be conscious about your voice while practicing. If you are uneasy in personal relationships try practicing with a close friend or family member you are comfortable with.

If you are nervous about speaking in public, volunteer to give presentations within a smaller group.

5.  Develop your writing skills – much like speaking, the more you write, the easier it will become. You can also improve your writing, check grammar and spelling errors.

Be direct and to the point instead of elaborate. Although being direct can greatly improve the clarity of your writing.

6.  Practice active listening – listening requires focus and self-discipline. We listen for many different reasons: to understand instructions, to empathize with another or to judge.

Taking notes while you are listening brilliant speaker, practice-taking notes in team meetings or staff training sessions. Show respect to your speaking partner.

7.  Pay attention to other’s body language – observe others posture, gestures, tone of voice, eye contact, and facial expressions. By doing this you can understand that what other people are trying to say by their body language.

Interpersonal communication

• Definition – interpersonal communication is an exchange of information between two or more people.
• During interpersonal communication, there is message sending and message receiving. This can be conducted using both direct and indirect methods.
• Successful interpersonal communication is, when the message senders and the message receivers understand the message.
• Interpersonal communication takes place between people who are interdependent and have some knowledge of each other.
• It includes communication between a son and his father, an employer and an employee, two sisters, a teacher and a student, two friends and so on.
• It can take place in face-to-face settings as well as through media platform such as social media.
• This form of communication is advantageous because direct and immediate feedback is possible. If a doubt occurs, it can instantly clarify.
• Most interpersonal communication situations depend on a variety of factors, such as the psychology of the two parties involved, the relationship between them, the circumstances in which the communication takes place, the surrounding environment, and finally the cultural context.

Intrapersonal communication

• Definition – intrapersonal communication is the communication process that happens internally.
• Interpersonal communication is a communicator’s internal use of language or thoughts.
• Interpersonal communication is defined as the communication process within an individual.

For example – communication that occurs in our mind

• When a communication takes place within a person is called intrapersonal communication. Here, there is only one person involved in it. The various situations in which intrapersonal communication takes place are thinking while making a decision from available choice, thinking in the examination hall while writing exam, dreaming in the class with opened eyes when lecture is going on.
• When a person communicates something to himself then he only is the receiver of the message.

Interpersonal and Intrapersonal Communication

• The term ‘inter’ means ‘between’ or the ‘intra’ means ‘within’
• The major difference between intrapersonal and interpersonal communication is that the former is invisible, as it goes in our mind; another is visible, as it takes place between several parties.
• Interpersonal communication involves two or people while intrapersonal communication is totally depended on one person.
• Technological, geographical and many other barriers are occurring in interpersonal communication. While these barriers are not a part of interpersonal communication.
• Interpersonal communication may misinterpret while there in no chances of misinterpretations in intrapersonal communication.
• Intrapersonal communication occurs continuously because it is the human tendency to think, analyze and interpret things. Interpersonal communication occurs regularly on a personal and professional level.
• Intrapersonal communication is based on the thinking and analysis while interpersonal communication is concerned with the exchange of ideas, information, opinion, feelings and so on.
• When the intrapersonal communication takes place, there is no feedback on the other side; interpersonal is totally depend on feedback system.
• In order to develop interpersonal skills, it is necessary to train listening skills.
• In order to develop intrapersonal skills, it is very important to develop self-control and positive attitude.
• The difference between interpersonal and intrapersonal skills is concluded in the fact that interpersonal skills are connected with interaction between other people in the group, while intrapersonal skills are connected with individual’s mind.

Interpersonal communication	Intrapersonal communication
Requires two or more persons	Requires only one person
Takes a form of exchanging ideas	Takes a form of thinking and analysis
May require media	Does not require media
A flow of information	Information is circuited
Visible	Invisible

Interpersonal vs. Intrapersonal Communication

What is the difference between interpersonal and intrapersonal communication?

• Intrapersonal communication requires only one person. On the other hand, for interpersonal communication, there are at least two individuals required.
• Intrapersonal communication usually takes the form of thinking and analyzing. Interpersonal communication, on the other hand, takes the form of exchanging ideas and developing concepts based on the results of the communication between the participating sides.
• Intrapersonal communication does not require any media to be used. One doesn’t need to call himself via telephone in order to talk the matter over with oneself. Media such as email or a notebook can be involved in intrapersonal communication, but solely for the purpose of self-expression and in order to help analyze the inner processes of an individual. Interpersonal communication, on the other hand, requires either verbal or non-verbal media in order to be performed for obvious reasons. People cannot communicate their thoughts without using language and the technical means to convey thoughts. There is an exception to this, known as “communication via thoughts,” where two minds feel connected, but the quality and productivity of such communication remain questionable.
• The information in intrapersonal communication is intended only for the person who is producing it. The flow of information is on an internal circuit. In the case of interpersonal communication, on the other hand, the information is shared between at least two people. One of the consequences of this difference in the two types of communication, is that in the case of interpersonal communication the information shared is much more vulnerable and can theoretically be overheard and used by a third party.
• Intrapersonal communication is invisible. Interpersonal communication in its direct form, on the other hand, is visible. A bystander can tell that two people are communicating with each other. A bystander cannot be sure a person is in the process of intrapersonal communication even if he is talking aloud to himself. After all, there might be a Bluetooth device involved.

How to develop interpersonal skills

   1.  Improving Nonverbal Communication – nonverbal communication includes your facial expressions, your uses of voice etc. people are more likely to interact with facial expression in comparison to body language.

Nonverbal communication makes-up 60% of meaning in interpersonal communication. You need to express emotions in ways that are received and correctly understood by others.

   2.  Give chance to others to speak – people expect that they will be able to contribute to a conversation equally.

Ex. Pay attention to how much you are speaking in a conversation. Has your story lasted for a long time? Wrap up your story and give a pause to signal that it is the other person’s turn to speak.

   3.  Know what makes good communication – generally, there are five principles that show effective communication: informativeness, truthfulness, politeness, relevance and modesty.

o   Contribute information that others did not know

o   Be relevant and of interest to everyone involved

o   Be truthful

o   Follow social expectations about being polite, like using, “please” and “thank you”

o   Avoid bragging or being self-centered

   4.  Listen as much as you speak – effective interpersonal communication is a two way street. You should spend 50% of the conversation listening. Pause after few sentences while you speaking. Continuous habit of speaking and listening will enhance interpersonal skill.

   5.  Do not expect anything – we cannot control or change anyone else. Everyone I responsible for his or her own action. All you can do is play your part the best you can, accept whatever you get, and adopt your actions from other.

   6.  Promote a positive work environment – a positive work environment reduces stress. Promote creativity and innovation and helps keep employees productivity. One of the most effective ways to improve your interpersonal skill is to imagine how you would like to be treated by others.

If you create this type of positive environment surrounded by people, they will automatically attract with your personality.

   7.  Focus on the message – always think and plan before you speak. Decide the goal behind what you exactly want to deliver. Have complete knowledge about the audience that is going to listen your message. Be sure that the message is precise. Moreover, your message must be delivered in a polite manner so that the people listening your message do not get bored.

Characteristic of Interpersonal Communication

We communicate a lot of things throughout our lives but researchers who study communication have identified a few characteristics.

1. We communicate a lot of things throughout our lives, but researchers who study communication have identified a few common characteristics. Interpersonal communication involves independent individuals. Each person has their own motivations, expectations and interpretations of communication.
2. The other fundamental characteristic of interpersonal communication is that it is inherently rational. In short, it is meant to be understood. Whatever we communicate and however we communicate it. We do so because we are intelligent beings, capable of expressing and communicating our thoughts and feelings. In addition, when we communicate, we do so because we expect something to be communicated.
3. Communication as being inescapable. This means is that, you are always communicating, always presenting information about yourself and interpreting information from other people. By saying something, you are communicating. But by refusing to say something, you also communicate something.
4. Communication is constant – but it is also involves personal choice. That is the forth-main characteristic of interpersonal communication. You can choose how you communicate information.

     Everyone have an individual choice and they communicate with others on their choices. Interpersonal communication is close, face-to-face interaction with an individual or small group of people. It is characterized by exchanges of verbal communication, nonverbal gestures and listening. An effective interpersonal communicator understands the impact of these elements of the communication and manages them well.

    The verbal element of interpersonal communication is the delivery of a message through words. Articulation, clarity, pace and volume are common traits of verbal interpersonal communication. Articulation and clarity refer to an ability to speak clearly, so that words and sentences are easy to follow. Moving at a crisp, but reasonable pace, and speaking at a moderate volume allow a listener to process what is being said.

    Nonverbal communication includes body language, gestures and facial expressions. These qualities of interpersonal communication strengthen or contradict what is said. Good interpersonal communicators use a positive facial expression, eye contact, good posture and natural gestures to add emphasis to certain points and to maintain the engagement of a listener.

    The ability to listen well is also key in interpersonal communication. Listening traits include looking a speaker in the eyes, giving him full attention and paraphrasing a message to confirm understanding. Listening is important in interpersonal communication in many jobs. Salespeople must listen well in order to recommend the right solution to a prospect.

[Further reading

1. We cannot NOT communicate. - In other words, interpersonal communication always takes place when two or more people are together. Think about it if you are in a elevator with one other person, communication is taking place. So long as the other person is aware of you, you are communicating. You communicate friendliness, apathy, or any number of things through the way you stand, your eye contact, and many other nonverbal cues. !en if you say nothing, you cannot communicate. Assume you choose not to say anything at all. Is not that communicating something about your attitude to the other person&'.
2. Interpersonal communication includes both content and information about the content - In other words, at the same time, we are (saying) something; we are going many cues about how what we are saying should be interpreted. Ex, you’ve heard students say to teachers many times, “Do we have a test today”? That is the content of the message, but the student can do many things to provide information about the content and change how the message is received. If the student adds a bit of whine to her voice, the message is not a question at all- the student really means (I don’t want to have a test today.) If the student furrows her brow while asking the question, the teacher will conclude the student truly doesn’t know if there is a test. The whine and the furrowed brow are examples of “metacommunication. They are nonverbal cues for the listener on how to communicate your message.5.
3. Interpersonal communication is contextual - In addition to the use of context you’ve encountered so far,  you can view interpersonal communications occurring in a very fluid context subject to reinterpretation. Some things are, of course, fixed. If we are alone in an elevator, the physical context is unlikely to change. 8ut consider an example in which we are constantly interpreting our interpersonal exchanges in ways that clarify and sometimes confuse4 our exchange of meaning. In other words, we are constantly (tagging) our interactions to define ourselves in relationship to others. Take the example of two people who are studying together. $s they exchange information and ask each other questions, the constantly define their roles. One person is dependent on another, then the roles switch. One person is using the study session to express dissatisfaction with the class, and so becomes a “confessor.” and so forth. The two people communicate, they constantly redefine the relationship, and so they redefine how they interpret their own communication.
4. Interpersonal communication is irreversible - Once you have said something, it can’t be “unsaid.”You can explain what you have said, apologies for what you’ve said, or anything else to modify it, but you can’t really “take it back.” An old saying holds that words are like stones, and “once flown can ne’er be recalled”. So it is with communication…..and not just with words. As a result, we note that in interpersonal communication we constantly build on what has recently occurred. "Your comment to your best friend about what you are doing tonight can change depending on the communication you%!e recently exchanged.
5. Interpersonal communication is complex - As you can tell for the first four principles, interpersonal communication involves so much that we are often communicating instinctively. e are registering verbal and nonverbal cues, we are tagging and defining our roles and relationships, we are building on communication that just happened>we are doing so much that we can’t be thinking about everything that’s happening at the time it is happening.]

Importance of Interpersonal Communication

1. Maintain good relations – interpersonal communications are necessary for the establishment of relationships between yourself and fellow workmates, which heads to a mutual exchange of ideas, information and skills.
2. Give opportunities – through connections with managers and fellow workmates, you are able to gain more exciting opportunities in the workplace. If you make a good impression on colleagues, interpersonal communication skill will help you.
3. Make collaboration – with good interpersonal skills, your colleagues and even your managers positively perceive you as an approachable person. Co-workers are more comfortably interacting with you. And you can engage with them more meaningfully.
4. Better understanding – to understand the organizational goal and need to achieve it through collective effort. It identifies new opportunities in the market and formulates strategies to achieve business goals. It helps to improve collaboration with in teams to achieve project’s vision and mission. Interpersonal skills are not just important in workplace but our personal and social lives can also benefit from better interpersonal communication skill.
5. They make you an effective leader – with the help of communication skill, you establish great influence on others. In a workplace, you need to be able to relate with others to optimize on productivity. Developing good interpersonal communication skills allows a person to change their certain attitude and engage with others productively at different levels.
6. Motivating – interpersonal communication can be an effective tool for motivating employees of the organization involved in various activities. It motivates other to communicate effectively. A person who is effective in interpersonal communication will be open to the ideas of others employees and willing to put forward their views of essential activities in the process of problem solving.